Bad Parking - "75ELDO" Edition

"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion) 06/17/2016 at 10:12 • Filed to: eldo, asshat parking, cadillac eldorado

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On my way out of the grocery store yesterday, I see this glorious land yacht pulling in, driven my a woman of maybe 50, with a fantastic wide-brimmed garden hat that matched the character of the vehicle perfectly. I was trying not to stare as I watched this thing pull into an area of many empty spaces, but still in the main row nearest the entrance. It had a great vanity plate by the way (the car, that is) - “75ELDO” - yes.

She swings the barge wide between opposing rows of SUVs and CUVs amorphous blobs and pulls in right between the lines; impressive, I think, for something of such generous proportions. But she overshoots the divider between the rows, and her front wheels are just over the line. I think at first that it was just luck that she was centered, and then her true I-don’t-care-I’m-driving-an-18-foot-topless-Caddy attitude was showing, but then she defies me. She opens that 7 1/2 foot long passenger door to look down at the lines, and she sees, up near the door’s front hinge, the yellow line going across behind her front tires. She shuts the door and looks to be putting the car in reverse.

Ok, I think, as I look away and start my own car, put on the seat belt, put the windows down, and prepare to leave. But NO! I look up, and she has moved the car 3 feet FORWARD to maximize the taking up of two spaces longitudinally, as it were. But WHY? With those panels the size of midwestern states and the doors that could double as a foot bridge over a small creek, I would think that if you were going to take the liberty of reserving two whole parking spaces for yourself, you would take them laterally. Avoid door dings in that beautiful 70's patina, and avoid the high probability of having to hop over the door yourself when you come back with your bread and butter beer and cigarettes.

Oh, the humanity!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > functionoverfashion 06/17/2016 at 10:16

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She’s just indulging her imagination on how long it is.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 06/17/2016 at 10:19

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That’s what happens if you keep telling women “that’s 7 inches”

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > functionoverfashion 06/17/2016 at 10:21

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Maybe she somehow thinks taking 2 spaces this way is less worse? And where she is parked her door would open in the gap between the 2 vehicles in the other spots...I don’t know, I’m throwing spitballs here

crowmolly > functionoverfashion 06/17/2016 at 10:25

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Probably used to shallow spaces where the car sticks out too much. Or it’s a PITA to back up and turn if somebody parks in front of her.

facw > functionoverfashion 06/17/2016 at 10:26

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Looks like the pickup may also be tailing into the space behind?

JCAlan > functionoverfashion 06/17/2016 at 10:55

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You know what? Spunky gal driving an awesome ride and trying to park in a mostly empty lot with spaces that are probably way too small? I give her a pass. You keep it up, girl.

thebigbossyboss > functionoverfashion 06/17/2016 at 12:02

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I'll allow it.

CaptDale - is secretly British > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 06/17/2016 at 12:07

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That need more stars

functionoverfashion > JCAlan 06/17/2016 at 12:22

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Mostly true except if I took the pic the other way it gets very dense nearer the main doors. Of course. Because walking an extra 50 feet in 77 degree sunshine perfection is hard. But yeah the reason I saw this in the first place is that it was out where you aren’t as likely to have someone park near you.

functionoverfashion > facw 06/17/2016 at 12:26

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Guys in big trucks always park in that area and usually take several spaces. I recently saw a new Sierra Denali 3500 HD diesel crew cab dually there and I figured, you pay that much for a gigantic truck that costs more than some people’s homes... yeah just go ahead and take a few spots.

facw > functionoverfashion 06/17/2016 at 12:50

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And yet they may still be shorter than that car...